Oh yeah, it's absolutely understandable. But also frustrating because division tactics only need to point out things to be angry about and then people will get angry about them (might have already been angry about them but now the topic is on their mind) and yell or lecture people about it which feeds that division and makes it less likely they'll ever get on the same page. Especially when the offending side was trying to act in good faith but gets accused of just being an enemy or bad person.

Shame only works when the person decides on their own they should feel shame, otherwise the best you can hope for is platitudes while they secretly want to see you fall (or otherwise get out from under your sphere of influence) so they can stop pretending to care about that thing. Average case would be an argument that leads nowhere, which is what usually happens online since no one has any real power over others, other than mods/admins who can only ban.