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Ok soon to be time to come out to my dad (aussie.zone)
submitted 2 months ago by to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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Came out to my mum, but will need to at some point come out to my dad.

Problem is, my dad, is straight up chronically online and is transphobic. Maybe not quite michael knowles transphobic but he thinks the whole thing is ridiculous and is just a fetish.

I'm planning to come out to my brother (who definitely isnt transphobic) before hand, to get as much "backup" as possible. My mum is ok with it so i have backup there lol.

Im considering just not telling him until ive moved out, so that I dont have to put up with him but idk, thats probs far out (at least a year)

Help :(

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[–] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Im sorry youre dealing with this ❤️❤️

Honestly my policy with people like this is tell them nothing and let them find out naturally, maybe a sprinkling of not hanging out with them as much

But this doesnt seem viable for your situation, so idrk. I hope it goes well, do get as much backup as you can. Hopefully your dad might change his tune when its his kid, or maybe he'll learn over time. Noone can know, but i hope for the best!

I will say that people being anti trans in my life stopped me from transitioning for years, and is a strong reason why i still get anxious in public and stuff like that. My advice is dont do that lol

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 2 months ago (1 child)

    Thanks for your response.

    Its sad to say, but I didnt transition for a while because of my dad, at least partly.

    Unfortuntely I think it is something I have to bring up directly, but I can delay it for a while.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 months ago

    It might help to out yourself while looking cute.

    And/or having other supportive people around you. My mom was not amused when I outed myself, and my "you always wanted a daughter, right?" joke might've been 20 years too late. Our next meeting was a pre-scheduled trip to the cinema with a child. She noticed how that child just accepted and supported me without any hint of doubt or reservation, even pushing me to go out in a dress. Having that role model seemed to be very helpful for my mom, especially as she found herself in uncharted territory and didn't know how to act appropriately around me. I guess some people struggle with authentic responses and rather copy their peers. It looks like your father might be in that camp, too?

    Actually, bringing a supportive friend with you might be beneficial in several regards, if you can arrange it.

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