Image description:
Text: Amazon's electric cargo bikes have arrived in DC.
Image: A four-wheeled vehicle that appears to be a cross between a bicycle, a go-cart, and a mini-truck
Response text from high t alpha shemale @gluetaster: that's not a cargo bike man that's a loopholemobile
Edit: I found a slightly higher-quality version of the image:
How to test if it's actually a bicycle:
I propose a simple ontological test by law enforcement. Simply steal one. If the police treat it like they do bicycle theft, it's a bicycle. If the police treat it like it's an auto theft, then it's an automobile.
If the police take the theft of one of these seriously, like they would a car theft, then point to that as justification for why they should be regulated like autos and banned from bike lanes. If the police treat it like bike theft....well....there's a lot of valuable materials in those loopholemobiles....and the police clearly aren't taking theft of them seriously...so....well the problem will solve itself.