Re: Sumerian dog-walks-into-a-tavern-or-brothel jokes, researchers figured out recently that the phrase "I'll open this one" was mis-translated! It should have been "I should open one like this," e.g., "this bar is so filthy and dingy that a dog could run one just like it." There was some supporting evidence in the article where the verb that they translated to "open" was used in similar contexts in other translated documents. I wish I had the link, because I have a feeling this one's right up your alley.