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this post was submitted on 24 May 2026
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Mildly Interesting
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You should have those women get together with the women who say "any guy who talks to a woman at the gym is a creep," and have them reach a consensus instead of giving men this constant mixed messaging that "You're an asshole if you talk to women, but actually a few of these women secretly want you to talk to them and you're not a real man if you don't. Just don't guess wrong about which is which."
It's like playing minesweeper, except you don't get any hints.
Well you can't let women control what you do. Some women will think you are a creep, others will like being talked to since they like the social aspect of it.
So you just talk to them and if you feel like they don't want to, you simply leave them alone. That's a fine behavior.
You can read a lot from body language as well. And if you talk to many women just for practice, it won't feel so strange or unusual to do it.
That's funny. A woman thinking I'm a creep means she'll tell all her friends that I'm a creep. Which means they'll tell all their friends, and so on, until I can't show my face in public without half the people who see me going "That's the creep, stay away from him." Even people I don't know.
So no, risking that just to potentially talk to someone who enjoys the social aspect of human interactions is not worth it.
Except they don't always make it clear when they don't want to talk. They might just silently resent you while being polite to your face, and then slander you to all their friends as soon as you're done talking.
That's part of the problem with the "Women aren't required to give you an overt rejection" mentality that I hear so much. And then they act like they're not expecting me to be a mind reader when they say "You shouldn't talk to women who don't want to talk to you; it's not their responsibility to tell you that they don't want to talk, but it's your responsibility to know." Feels like gaslighting.
Nope, I'm on the spectrum, and I don't pick up on hints. Even if I get the idea that someone might be trying to drop a hint, I won't know what it means and I'll overthink it. It may mean "Wow, this guy is so cool, I hope he asks me out," or it could mean "Wow, this guy is such a creep, when will he stop talking to me?"
It can be really hard to tell, especially when they're trying to be nonchalant or subtle. Especially when I don't really intuit typical social conventions that other people seem to.
Nah, once I gain a reputation for "That guy talks to every woman in the place!" Then they'll double calling me a creep and avoiding me. It's not really the type of thing where "just get some practice and you'll improve."
I say all this from experience.
If you are on the spectrum, it's of course very different. Just ordinary social interactions will be difficult, with anyone. So much of people's communication is through body language.
Yeah well at this point in life I've gotten so sick and tired of being called a creep for not magically picking up on social cues, so it's better for my mental health if I just don't talk to women.
Maybe it's not a societal problem after all, I'm just uniquely inadequate in a very personal failing kind of way. Cause that's so much easier to cope with...
It's kinda bitter thinking about all the neurotypicals out there who get to live happy lives, even the complete jerks, just because they know how to be "normal" and that's less off-putting than being a socially awkward weirdo like me. But whatever.
I try not to think about it too much. The FOMO kinda died out towards the end of my 20s, now I'm kind of just resigned to my fate that I'm gonna die alone. I've been a total hikikomori for the past year or so at this point. It's more peaceful at least than dealing with people...
Relationships are no happy magic pill either. It seems like that from the outside but there is a lot of arguing and bickering in peoples private lives at home. But yes, its better then being alone for most people, thats why they stick with it even though it feels like hell sometimes.
If I were you, I would find other people on the spectrum and see if you like any of those. You have seen that program Love on the Spectrum right? I loved that show so much. Because under all those difficulties reading body language and communicating, there are beautiful souls inside. You and me are similar inside, its just your brain that is slightly different. You just need to find a good match for that , just like I do, and everyone else.
If you feel like you are losing hope, you should watch that show, it's very good.
I know they're not a magic pill, but I've been in relationships in the past and they were the happiest times of my life. At least the better ones were; the rest didn't last more than a few months each.
It's been a few years since my last relationship though, and I don't think I'll ever find one again. My life has spiralled, society has become increasingly hostile, I've basically fully isolated myself and stopped even trying to socialize.
I'm getting older, I'm slipping mentally. I don't think I can put in the effort it takes to build a relationship again in the early stages; let alone the effort (and risk) of finding someone to even build a relationship with in the first place. And it's not like it's a matter of more effort = success anyway. I stopped making an effort because it was always leading to dead ends and rejection.
I have not seen the show you're talking about. I don't really watch reality tv. Or tv in general. I don't have any streaming services. And even if I did, I wouldn't want to torture myself by watching other people find love and happiness.
Maybe we're similar and maybe we're different. It's hard to know just from a few comments. I've stopped believing there's "a good match" for me out there though.
It's not that I'm losing hope. I lost hope long ago. Since then I've just been learning to live without hope. I don't need to torture myself by trying to restore it.
Fair enough. :)
I dont watch reality TV either normally but in this case, I did, since it was about people on the spectrum and I found that very interesting.
They were going on dates and talked about how they were thinking and the show had a lot of heart and warmth that I really liked. Its not a typical ego based show. But of course you know yourself if you want to watch it or not. :)