Like I put up with a lot more shitty behavior on the road because I live in a state with a high incidence of guns being involved with road rage incidents.
That's called "de-escalation".
That's exactly what we should all be doing.
Rather than responding to a road rage incident with our own rage, we are actively reducing the risks of road rage to ourselves and to everyone around us. We are not pushing the initial rager to increase the egregiousness and danger of their rage.
The possibility of getting shot has broadly convinced the general public to improve their own behavior.
Paradoxically, if we didn't fear they would pull guns on us, we would be more likely to respond to their rage with our own. We wouldn't "put up with it", but would instead confront them, impede them, seek "justice" for their offensive behavior, or otherwise escalate. In doing so, we would invite them to escalate as well. Your argument suggests that the high incidence of guns being involved in road rage is reducing the occurrence of road rage. I agree completely.