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I condemn violence but I'm also condoning it in the same breath, yes I'm an incoherent fruit loop, why do you ask? (thelemmy.club)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/slop@hexbear.net
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Goddam we are already at "it wasn't real but if it was they deserved it"?

From true anon.

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[–] 4 points 4 months ago (10 children)

I will absolutely attack her for how she looks, considering it was elective surgery. If she was born looking like jigsaw, that's one thing. She spent money to look like that, which absolutely makes it fair to critique.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (8 children)

    I have also had elective cosmetic surgery. Are you going to attack me for how my chest looks? I spent lots of money to get top surgery, so I guess in your mind that opens the aesthetics of my chest up to critique.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (7 children)

    I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not talking about basic gender affirming surgery, but if you decide to get inhumanly large beach balls, I might crack a joke at it. You're welcome to feel differently, but if people spend vast sums of money to look entirely inhuman, I see no reason that jokes are off limits.

    I also make fun of people that dress in absurd ways. That doesn't mean that I'm going to make fun of a trans woman wearing a dress, but I'm going to poke fun at Sam Smith showing up to an event in what looks like overinflated BDSM gear.

    Ultimately, my opinion and tastes don't matter, and people are going to do what people are going to do. I won't shame someone for intrinsic characteristics, but I see nothing wrong with poking fun at bizarre aesthetic choices.

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  • [–] 9 points 4 months ago (6 children)

    I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not talking about basic gender affirming surgery

    No, because you'd get called a bigot and get banned immediately. You know that, and furthermore you (I admit I'm making some assumptions here) want to believe you're a good person who isn't transphobic.

    But. The rest of your comment shows more about your beliefs than you mean it too. Your comment makes it abundantly obvious that you believe you are the arbiter of when someone's presentation (gender or otherwise) is just "too weird" and hence worthy of mockery. That belief is fucking harmful and you should work to deworm your brain

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (5 children)

    I disagree with the assertion that I'm the arbiter of when someone is worthy of mockery. If someone is born that way, it's not fair to poke fun. If someone chooses to look some way, it's fair game. I've done plenty of shit to express myself that hasn't been to others' tastes, and I've had jokes made about it and I've made my own jokes about it. If that person signals discomfort or requests that people stop, then they should stop.

    Ultimately, everyone is going to be made fun of for their stylistic choices at some point. Some will be valid, some won't. Some will be funny, some will be not funny.

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  • [–] 7 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    If someone chooses to look some way, it's fair game.

    I've chosen to get top surgery. Making fun of my chest is fair game

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (3 children)

    Yes, but your gender is intrinsic.

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Even if we grant that my gender is intrinsic (which I don't, see my next paragraph), your comment doesn't address the root of the issue. The root of the issue is that you think there's a difference between someone performing their gender "properly" (in your eyes) and someone who is, well, I'm having a hard time summing up your position, because I think it's pretty fucked up, but the other option, I guess, is someone who is presenting themselves in a way you think is weird, and you think they're lying? Mistaken? What are we going for here? I don't think there's such a difference, as you can tell, since I'm struggling to even articulate the second thing.

    Ok, so onto the gender being intrinsic situation: I could have very probably lived my whole life as a woman and been pretty ok. Also, my gender isn't one such that top surgery is entirely a given. In a different world, I would still have rather large tits, and not these giant scars across my chest. I absolutely reject the framing that any of this is intrinsic, at least for myself.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago (1 child)

    Listen, homie, I think something's just not connecting here. Obviously we have different points of view. I respect what you're saying, and I can tell it comes from a good place.

    I don't really want to take more time trying to dissect my internal logic, as fun as it's been. I've just got too much other shit going on to get more introspective. I do appreciate the points you've made though.

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    I get that introspection is hard, it really is, and I can't force you to do it if you're unwilling.

    But as a stop gap, maybe keep your criticisms and mockery of the way people look as internal thoughts that you do not speak or write where other people can hear or see them.

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