You're looking at this through the wrong lens. People aren't spending money trying to impress someone, they're spending money because that's what the world has become. Every single one of those that you mentioned still costs money and everything has gotten more expensive.

Edit: Plus, I believe when articles and stuff talk about this, they're specifically talking about going out to a restaurant or something similar like the movies, etc.

Third spaces have been increasingly monetized and monopolized in the past 2 or 3 decades, and CoL has added pressure on top of that. Boston is lucky because it's an old city with some great parks and avoids some of the issues that modern cities have (and that's not to mention the problems outside of cities). If you want to see what a modern US city is like, go down to the seaport - you know, the part of Boston that everybody hates that basically has nothing going on unless you're spending money. According to this article, 100 million people in the US - including 28 million children - do not have access to close-to-home parks. That's almost a third of the US who have to spend money just to touch some grass. And gas is closing in on $5 a gallon, so forget those road trips. Even the MFA is $60 for tickets for two. Burgers are about $20 each now, and drinks are even more. Just a cheap meal can run you up to $100 very quickly.

Regardless of what you're doing, if you're meeting somebody in a third space it's getting hard not to spend a fair chunk of change, and even "cheaper" options are still just that - cheaper by comparison. For every date night someone is having at home, someone else is buying $300 concert tickets.

That's all very lovely but I think you're missing the point of what I'm trying to say.

I'm not saying anyone is dropping loads of money to impress anyone, I'm saying going out in most any context costs loads of money without even being "impressive".

Obviously a hike and a picnic is a great date! But it's reckless and irresponsible as a first date. You could end up murdered. For a first date you're likely meeting in a public place. Heck, even in your own example your first date was in a bar, which now a days is a dozens of dollars experience for just a few drinks, much more if you're buying for two or it's a nice bar, or if there's any food involved.

I'm saying even for frugal people (hell, my husband and I first got to talking in a thrift store through a mutual friend!) dating is expensive, and it's not about preferences, it's just that eating out at all or even just drinks or coffee not at home is very pricey.