That's all very lovely but I think you're missing the point of what I'm trying to say.

I'm not saying anyone is dropping loads of money to impress anyone, I'm saying going out in most any context costs loads of money without even being "impressive".

Obviously a hike and a picnic is a great date! But it's reckless and irresponsible as a first date. You could end up murdered. For a first date you're likely meeting in a public place. Heck, even in your own example your first date was in a bar, which now a days is a dozens of dollars experience for just a few drinks, much more if you're buying for two or it's a nice bar, or if there's any food involved.

I'm saying even for frugal people (hell, my husband and I first got to talking in a thrift store through a mutual friend!) dating is expensive, and it's not about preferences, it's just that eating out at all or even just drinks or coffee not at home is very pricey.