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Trump wants to check on the gold in Fort Knox because ‘they steal a lot’
(www.the-independent.com)
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this post was submitted on 11 May 2026
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He's looking for any excuse to get in there so he can walk out with some of the gold.
Fuck knows what he'll do with it, given his obsession with that precious metal. Shave bits off and put it on his hamberders; melt it and create a gold crown with built-in toupee; create yet another fucking statue to himself or another gold toilet to shit in; store it in his Mar A Lago bathroom like it's some sort of classified info; use it for his stupid ball room; jizz all over it.
A golden crown, you say?
Anyone who's ever seen molten gold knows that this is an incredibly bad representation. It glows bright yellow/orange. It doesn't look like the gold paint they're pouring here.
This was probably an artistic choice to make it look like gold rather than any molten metal to the average watcher.
Not the point 🥲
What is that from?
Game of Thrones
Considering that the average gold bar used by banks is around 12kg, he's going to need someone to help him to carry those out.
Hey, maybe he's finally found a use for Eric!
Yes, but if he can get in he might be able to just DOGE it.
To be fair I want to see someone steal gold bars. I think it would be hilarious to see someone trying to drag a bag with ten bars in it, torn between not wanting to leave any of it behind and not being able to get the bag to move.
No, he will follow the pattern of buying calls on gold beforehand, then detonating a nuke in Ft. Knox so the gold supply is irradiated, making the value of his gold skyrocket.
This was in a movie once. I think it was called “The President That Couldn’t Slow Down”
That ballroom isn’t going to tacky itself up.
He’ll want to hold an event at Mar-a-lago with a giant stack of gold. Then the stack disappears. The Supreme Court then says that since he stole it as the president it is legal.
I hope he drinks it.