He’s had a few gems:

Take care of your teeth (I didn’t listen early enough, but luckily I started before things got too bad)

Don’t keep get caught stealing bullshit from the mall in high school, because it’ll lock you out of jobs in which you’d be able to embezzle way more money than you could ever steal in lipgloss and earrings. (Caveat, this was perfect advice for me: it clicked in my brain and got me to stop stealing as a kid, and by the time I actually did have a job where I could have embezzled a lot, I was good enough at long term thinking not to. I don’t think it’s necessarily universally good advice, because actually following it would be bad, but my dad knows me pretty well. It was also most effective in conjunction with the next one).

You might be smarter than each cop on the police force, but you’re not smarter than all of them together, so don’t commit crimes serious enough for them to discuss your case as a department.

Never willingly get in a cop car.

If someone’s being passive aggressive or asking you to do anything fishy, just behave as if you take what they’re saying completely earnestly and play dumb about any discrepancies (for example “oh, I’m sorry, I thought you asked me to do it like this last week. Would you mind if I write it down exactly and post it on the wall so I don’t forget next time?”)

If you can’t sleep and you really need rest, keeping your eyes closed and laying still for several hours will help you a lot more than reading or watching tv for several hours. (This is good advice for two reasons. It’s true, if I miss one night of sleep, but rest my eyes and body completely for eight hours instead, it feels like I’m at about 70% performance, whereas I’d be at about 40% if I stayed up all night doing something even moderately active. Additionally, doing that often puts you to sleep on its own.