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[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 56 points 1 day ago

The year is 2028. You try to distract yourself from the taste of the day's bug ration by booting up Farm Simulator. The screen flashes red and the CD drive on your computer opens up. "PENIS INSPECTION REQUIRED". You tell the AI that you already did a penis inspection to start the computer and log into Steam, but it interprets that as pathological lying. Farm Simulator sentences you to 10 years in prison for penis fraud and the police shoot you upon arrival.

[-] red_stapler@hexbear.net 2 points 10 hours ago

The police shoot you in the penis, right?

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 4 points 9 hours ago

The year is 2028. Joe Biden is elected president by a 1% margin. I drink my water ration pretending it's coffee as I post on Hexbear. "Fuck the democrats. Their one campaign promise was that police would only shoot you in the penis and he already walked that back?". The police knock on my door and announce Farm Simulator has sentenced me to death by gun or dog. They kill me before I can say I voted for Biden so that they'd only shoot me in the penis.

[-] TheSpectreOfGay@hexbear.net 30 points 1 day ago

starting my business of hyperrealistic dildos that will let u skip penis inspection right now

[-] happybadger@hexbear.net 34 points 1 day ago

Penis piracy is a crime. You wouldn't download balls.

[-] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

The files are stored in the balls.

[-] miz@hexbear.net 25 points 1 day ago

many such cases

[-] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago

alex-aware Wake up sheeple! Immigration Customs Enforcement is just a front to develop ICE for what they are really interested in: IP Cock Examinations

this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2026
93 points (100.0% liked)

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