Oh, to be eighteen again! You with me, ladies and gentlemen? Do you remember eighteen? Let me tell you, the juices are flowing. The red corpuscles are corpuscling, the grass is green, and it's soft, and summer's gonna last forever. [chuckles; inhales sharply] Now, do you remember? Yeah, you do. [clears throat] But if you're being honest... I mean, well, really honest, you'll recall that you also had an underdeveloped eighteen-year-old brain. Me, personally, I... it... If I were held accountable for some of the stupid decisions I made when I was eighteen... [chuckling] Oh, boy, wow. And I bet if we were in church right now, I'd get a big "amen!"

Which brings us to these two... Now, these two knuckleheads. And I'm sorry, boys, but that's what you are. They did a dumb thing. We're not denying that. However, I would like you to remember two salient facts. Fact one: Nobody got hurt, not a soul. Very important to keep that in mind. Fact two: Now, the prosecution keeps bandying this term "criminal trespass." Mr. Patterson, the general manager, admitted to us that he keeps most portions of his business open to the public both day and night. So, trespassing? That's a bit of a reach, don't you think, Dave? Here's what I know: These two young men, near honors students both, were feeling their oats one Saturday night, and they just went a little bananas. [chuckles] I don't know. Call me crazy, but I don't think they deserve to have their bright futures ruined by a momentary, minute, never-to-be-repeated lapse of judgment. Ladies and gentlemen, you're bigger than that.