Genuinely?

I'd not be such a tremendous cringey dork as a kid.

I would not latch onto that one girl who did not give a shit about me.

I would fully avoid the one girl who did like me but then completely fucked me up.

I would move out of my toxic dickhead dad's house before he got my bedroom raided by police.

I'd buy a load of bitcoin when I saw it for like 12p and thought "nah, that's just for criminals, I don't want to be associated with that"

But then...

If I can't achieve those things while also meeting my wife and having the exact same kids that I have now then I would honestly not change a damn thing. Scars and all.