I think the problem is much more fundamental, schools are essentially abusive and hostile to (many) students. One of their core missions is to sort students, selecting some of them for higher education and others for precarity. This necessitates institutional bullying, which I have witnessed plenty of while at school. Naturally many students will react with being unmotivated and hostile, it's an abusive situation. I swear if some aunt or uncle treated the children like some of the shit I've seen in my schools days, most parents would forbid them from having any contact.
Now, I do think you have a point though, a teacher that's embracing the role, being strict but predictable and "fair" is more respectful than one who thinks or pretends they're your friend and just trying to help you. You're also right that kids whose parents nurture curiosity and learning will obviously do better in school. As will kids whose parents are generally competent, stable and loving, as those kids will be able to better cope with the whole school situation.