Reddit was good too, and still is decent.

The important thing is that the communities that are good are generally small and the commenters actually know each other and that creates a lot of positive social pressure to act like a normal person.

You can be recognized and develop a reputation. For example, I recognized @pelespirit@sh.itjust.works from their community: Politics@sh.itjust.works. I recognize Kolanaki by his giant unicode character username. I see Ada from Blahj everywhere.

Because of this, I have a more human view of their personality and even when we disagree it's way less likely to devolve into toxic social media slap fights because it's a lot easier to give them the benefit of the doubt due to previous positive interactions.

I, honestly, think forum communities pre-Myspace were the peak social media experience

Mastadon and twatter (past tense) are popularity contests. And all that popularity you are building can be taken from you for an unpopular take, even if it's just misunderstood. The lemmy/piefed style is egalitarian, your comments stand on their own, you can post regardless of how many followers you have people may see it.