I’m sorry you’re going through that. My mom died over twenty years ago, when I was twelve (so I didn’t have any estate management responsibilities), and it’s sometimes difficult to deal with wanting to ask her advice or wanting to have a person whose first priority was me, irrespective of our relationship (I know not all mothers are like that, but mine was, and my much older sisters and their friends agree, so it’s not just kid-glasses. They also readily share unpleasant aspects of her personality, so it’s also not a wariness to speak ill of the dead).

It does get easier, and you learn to depend on yourself, any siblings or old friends who remember her and other supportive friends who have been through similar situations.