MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

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[–] 17 points 6 months ago (17 children)

Co-opting alpine divorce, which regularly involves a murder attempt, feels weird? Just call it the sierra split.

I do wonder how much of this is a cheapening of the weekend getaway, where you'd go to a B&B upstate, find out your potential partner snores, drinks to much, is rude to service workers, or views a toothbrush as optional. You'd sigh and split. It's just a bad weekend.

But with this, camping and hiking is a complication. You're drinking warm filtered water from a Nalgene, eating granola because someone forgot to bring a lighter. Also, it's raining and all your socks are wet. Did you bring anything to wash dishes? Ah, there are no dishes. You smell like smoke and are covered in sand.

Granted, you can do camping/hiking well, but I'd bet some of these cases are from people doing it poorly, trying to save a buck by avoiding more expensive weekend getaways.

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  • [+] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)
  • [+] [S] -6 points 6 months ago (13 children)

    but I'd bet

    So no proof then. Guesses don't count.

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  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago (12 children)

    Ok your honor I'm sure they'll follow the rules of the courtroom next time

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  • [+] -2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (11 children)
  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago (10 children)

    Why would my response have anything to do with the gender of the person I'm replying to? How do you expect me to even know that information? How do you know I'm not a woman? (I'm not, just pointing out that immediately making this a men vs women thing is bad.)

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  • [+] -1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (9 children)
  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago (8 children)

    Lemmy is absolutely male dominated, I just don't like perpetuating the gender war discourse. There are some reasonable takes in here and I would prefer not to have it be drowned out by the "women weak" and "men evil" takes I've seen being tossed around.

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  • [+] 0 points 6 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (7 children)
  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago (6 children)

    I've done both. I just have longer comment chains arguing with the women because misogynistic comments have the depth of a puddle and there's not much more to say to them than "you suck and I hate your entire worldview".

    I also again disagree with the framing that allegiance here should be gender-based.

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  • [+] 1 point 6 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (5 children)
  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago (4 children)

    Yeah I agree that's very prevalent in the thread

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  • [+] 1 point 6 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (3 children)
  • [–] 1 point 6 months ago (2 children)

    The intent of those comments varies wildly from "women should man up" to "why are we assuming women aren't the more capable hikers" to "why are men even abandoning someone they supposedly want to hike with" etc. I think some have gotten more upvotes than they deserve but not all of them are just saying we shouldn't be concerned about women being abandoned in the wild by their partners, and those that do say that usually have appropriate replies. What you described is certainly an issue but I don't think it shows an overwhelmingly mysogynistic sentiment from the lemmy userbase at large.

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  • [+] 1 point 6 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 2 points 6 months ago

    You are unfortunately correct that this is a much more common view here than it should be. I hope that the arguments against it will prove useful in changing peoples' minds; lemmy is not 4chan and I believe we are in general more capable of self-improvement. At least I hope so.

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