This is basically urban legend at this point; "buy borrow die" is a tiny piece of the ultra-wealthy's financial strategy, at least when it comes to the "borrow" part, which is what everyone's focused on:
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In reality, the ultra wealthy do not borrow against a large fraction of their unsold gains. On average from 2004 to 2022, the top 1% of wealth-holders only borrowed 1-2% of their annual economic income.
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Borrowing while holding unrealized gains is, in fact, more of a middle-class activity than an ultra-wealthy one: Americans in the 50-90th percentiles borrowed 42% of their unrealized gains in 2022, compared to just 4% for the top 1% of wealth-holders.
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The primary tax avoidance strategy for the top 1% is not to borrow, but simply not to sell appreciated assets.