"Will I get attached to a subscription for it or something?"

"It's not a subscription service!"

"Oh, okay... well, I don't know... I don't want to get a virus on it."

"You can't get viruses on it!"

"It's not gonna make me wanna have sex, is it?"

"It makes sex even better!"

"Sounds kind of expensive."

"It's the cheapest operating system there is."