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i am once again calling for the summary execution of anyone who listens to their phone without headphones on public transit (hexbear.net)
submitted 10 months ago by to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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no one wants to hear your fucking for you page on the bus. this level of antisocial behavior is unforgivable

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[+] 41 points 10 months ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (14 children)
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  • [–] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    It's all a lot easier too if this is just a socially enforced standard rather than expecting individuals to measure exactly how they should tell an old person to turn their shit down while also being at the limits of their patience and probably not really in a position where it's easy to express themselves in the manner that the other person feel entitled to.

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  • [–] 7 points 10 months ago (10 children)

    Music doesn't interfere with getting to work. You will get there all the same. If you are claiming it is some sort of disability to be intolerant of a quiet noise like a phone can make, then there are lots of other noises at the same level so you will have to be proactive in fixing things for yourself by wearing something to block them all out.

    Out of curiosity have you ever asked anyone to turn their music down? If yes, what happened? If no, why not?

    Second question, why do you think people are engaging in this behavior you find so distasteful? What is their motivarion?

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  • [+] 29 points 10 months ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (9 children)
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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (8 children)

    Its good your position has moderated from the OP.

    Ive never seen anyone watching porn on the transit. Sounds to me like its either a form of sexual harassment by exposing unwilling participants to sexual activity or people are too poor to afford a private space to do private things. If the former, then its more like flashing and the fact of the phone being involved is incidental and not the same as music at all. If the latter, then idk it sounds like moral panics about people pooping in public or gay park sex that are really displacing discomfort about the oppression of other people onto the people at the bottom of some sort of hierarchy. People have been watching porn at libraries for a long time. And we used to have things like porno theaters or bookstores where semi public jack off space was provided, and only exposing those who are consenting, but those do not exist as much anymore. Rent is expensive and people are in tight spaces.

    Someone enjoying music (even music you dont care for) is totally different than sexual harassment. Just because they share an item in common (phone) doesn't mean its fair to make an equivalence. Its diminishing of sexual harassment to put it on the same level as music.

    If people are just being inconsiderate then give them some kind of feedback about it. If it is really true that you have approached people and they've all flipped out on you, its provably something about your approach. I do share unsolicited opinions with people in public and more likely they just ignore me. If I introduce hostility then people react in kind. You can just mutter passive aggressively to yourself or another person you dont even need to be direct, and the person might get the message and be different next time.

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  • [+] 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (7 children)
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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (6 children)

    If you aren't willing to directly speak to the person who is offending you then what does it mean to "be held accountable"? How do you go about it?

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  • [–] 20 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    People who do this will get in your face over it

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  • [+] 16 points 10 months ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 child)
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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    I mean I agreed with you I just dont know how to do that without interacting. Thats how norms are shifted.

    The other day I was in a store and there was 2 old guys looking at sunglasses, one of the was messy coughing all over the place and trying on the sunglasses, putting them back on the shelf covered in his gunk. Workers kind of looking on cautiously keeping their distance. Guys were having a good time chatting with each other and joking. I caught his eye and said "that is gross, put on a mask or something" in a normal volume/tone. Not the most eloquent but it got the point across. And they stopped joking and looked at each other, taken aback and their fun moment ruined. Then I left as my business was concluded anyway. No big scene, just a reminder for them that there are other people around. And if you are with your buddy having a good time, its more conducive to the atmosphere to not be snottering all over the place. They were not bad people they were just carried away in their little comfy bubble that feels like home to them.

    People have done interventions like that on me in my life and I remembered them. Generally it is a shock so you don't necessarily adjust right away but after I had time to think about it, I eventually did on subsequent occasions.

    But dont discount the value of dirty looks, mumbling to yourself, or subtle gestures. Maybe you can just go to another part of the bus. Most people won't like the feeling that they are being shunned by strangers. Or get a white noise app to turn on when needed. That would be funny? Or ask if they would take a request from you next song. A joke is less confrontational but can clearly communicate.

    But you will have to engage in an uncomfortable human interaction in order to contribute to the shift in social norms. Either you Iearn to ignore, avoid/exit the situation, or take the risk of unknown outcome by challenging in some way. People do this all the time and it rarely leads to fights. Its part of living in an urban environment. We are in tension with each other all the time and its OK. Nicer than feeling murderous every day.

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