if you think that the systemic oppression of women as people for the benefit of men is in any way shape or form comparable to "this girl was mean to me this one time", you are a lost cause.
the idea of "misandry" has always been weaponized against women in a misogynistic way by denying them even the ability to express anger at their oppression. women who "hate men" would not hate men if men did not systemically oppress them in every aspect of life. you can say "misandry is real its just not systemic" if you want, but its like saying "all lives matter" has a meaning outside of its use as a racist dogwhistle. not a very serious take. additionally, you cant say that while also comparing it to misogyny, which is systemic.
gender essentialism and bioessentialism are bad, we all agree on this! we dont have to silence women talking about actual issues and experiences in order to do so.
if you are a man and you feel the need to say how misandry totally is a real problem, you have to remember first that you are benefiting from patriarchy right now whether you like it or not
like i said to begin with, the line of reasoning that misandry exists is the same line of reasoning that is used to say reverse racism exists. and last i checked we all know that isnt the case.