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Anon checks up on a childhood friend (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 10 months ago by [M] to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 12 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Pardon me asking (and feel free to ignore): Isn’t that scary to have a child so late in life? I’m worried about the impact my age will have on my relationship with my kids and I’m roughly a decade younger.

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  • [–] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    I just don't see the point in worrying about it. I haven't been scared since I found out and Idon't think I will be now that's it's about 4 weeks away. I've been too busy buying and planning things and then I'll be too busy changing nappies.

    I'm just going to get on with it and not worry about it. The good news is that I'm already waking up in the middle of the night for a pee so I'm somewhat practiced at that.

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  • [–] 7 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    [same disclaimer] Was it planned?

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  • [–] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    We were trying, yes.

    Also back to your relationship question that I probably didn't answer. I already know someone in advanced age with a kid and they have a great relationship. I haven't even considered it. As long as I live a while longer I'm sure I'll have a healthy relationship. I'm quite a chill person and young at heart and genuinely don't see that as an issue.

    If anything I think it might even be better! I genuinely think it will be beneficial that I'm not trying to grow up at the same time as my kid and can act as a caring and relaxed parent without any additional stress.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago

    Yes and there are no guarantees anyway, even if you are younger. My dad died when I was 16, he wasn't old. I had some when young then some when older, it's different for sure, more resources less energy but certainly better emotional regulation, less easily annoyed does help.

    Congratulations!

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  • [–] 0 points 10 months ago

    That doesn’t sound fair to the child?

    You’ll be barely up to keep up with them by the time they’re 10 you’ll be 60 and close to retirement. You’ll probably die of old age before they ever get married or to have you around to help them figure out adulthood.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    200 years ago people also had kids quite late.

    And we live so much longer than even 40 years ago. Life is so much better and safer now.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago

    But the nuclear family is much younger, so today’s kids rely much more heavily and directly on their parents with respect to kids 200 years ago. The “village” build around multigenerational housing has disappeared, making the age of parents a much bigger factor than earlier on

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago* (1 child)

    200 years ago people were having kids at 15-16

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  • [–] 4 points 10 months ago

    And at 40 and 45, since there wasn't birth control.

    I was honestly surprised when I looked at a genealogy site, so many of my ancestresses got married at 28-30, I guess reading Little House on the Prairie when I was a kid made me think all those women of old times married young but nope, that did not seem to be the case.

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