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Hey lemmy! I've been very sexual active but now that I moved I'm not too active. I've had over a 100 partners so far so I'm a bit experienced lol.

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[–] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Couple of questions:

Out of those 100, how many partners / encounters were where you were the active fucker? As in, you were in some sex position where you were doing most of or all the actual active, energetic effort, for the majority of the encounter?

I guess as a follow up to that: How many repeat encounters with the same person or people, vs just a one time thing?

Do you more view this as ... a strategy to climb corporate / social ladders / open doors for you, or is it more just you being very open to or desirous of sex and any other effects are ancillary?

(Or perhaps roughly evenly in the middle of those two?)

Ratio of girls / guys / other you've partnered with?

How long would you say an average session lasts, whats the shortest and longest duration? Any noticable patterns for whom you have a short time with vs a long time?

(Just counting with a single partner, you already mentioned a gang bang so that would probably skew those numbers a good deal)

And maybe some oddballs for the final questions:

How many times, if ever, have you had sex with someone, and your partner never actually cums?

Same question but where your partner actually comes more than once?

And, you said you only come 15 to 20% of the time already, but you ever come multiple times?

I guess break those down by sex / gender of partners if you are bi / pan / etc.

Sorry if this seems like a lot of q's but I am both a data analyst and also unabashedly open about my sexuality, though you've got roughly 5x to 10x my body count, lol.

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Not too sure tbh, I like to try many positions so I'm not always "active"

    I have a fair few FWB. Lived with a few of them too. Maybe 10%?

    I've fucked my boss and got a promotion, I already had one from my performance and the sex got me another. I don't think I'll do that again tho. I fucked him for the thrill but I realised I could ask for a promotion so I did that.

    Mostly guys, only time there's other girls is if it's an orgy of some kind, which I've only gone to one of.

    Session length really really depends on what we're doing. Lazy and unfit guys tend to be worse, even the most basic fitness seems to help a lot.

    I really like to make sure my partners cum. There are a few times older guys didn't cum but from what ik that's not a me problem (I hope)

    Yes, some guys can make me cum super quick and repeatedly.

    I'm very straight. I tried sleeping with a girl but it just didn't click.

    PS I'm also a bit into data analysis so I've tried to use the correct words.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 child)

    Well, hah, thank you for putting in the 'active effort' to answer my battery of questions. =P


    So if I'm reading this right, it would probably be fair to say that you mainly just... have a very high sex drive, very much enjoy sex both for yourself and your partner, and any social benefits or detriments that result from that are generally secondary, and you tend toward thinking about the potential or actual consequences of any particular sexual encounter... after they take place.

    Entirely not meaning to be rude, but... have you considered that you may legitimately be a nymphomaniac?

    Do you... have, generally, persistent thoughts about masturbating or you're just very often quite horny, or you often have thoughts about potentially having sex with almost any one you see, to the point that it breaks your ability to focus or concentrate on other tasks?

    I ask because I once met a woman who... described herself as a nymphomaniac, and described it as legitimately debilitating in that she could not focus on studies or being in a classroom... she was quite intelligent, very academically gifted, but described this to me as a very serious daily struggle for her.


    Also, some months back, on my old account, I tried to run some numbers on this general topic.

    https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/35653687/16009784

    ...if you go by median instead of mean, its probably actually lower than 5 (probably 3 ish?), as 45% of people have had one sexual partner or less.

    (That is to say, the 'typical' person has probably had about 3 or 4 sex partners over their whole life, the mean or average of about 5 gets skewed away from that by the 'long tail' of small numbers of people who've had a high number of sex partners)

    Displayed in another way:

    0 partners : 10% of pop.
    
    1 partner: 35% of pop.
    
    2 - 10 partners: 43% of pop.
    
    11 - 25 partners: 7% of pop.
    
    26 - 40 partners: 4% of pop.
    
    41 - 75 partners: 2% of pop.
    
    76 - 100 partners: 3% of pop.
    
    100+ partners: 3% of pop.
    

    Not trying to slut shame at all, but... you having 100+ partners by age 24 is... highly uncommon, an outlier, as you say, so I very much value the ability to ask such a rare outlier for their perspective and experiences.

    IIRC, those numbers are for total lifetime sex partners of people of all ages, and you are already nearly outside of 2 standard deviations by age 24, you'd be likely to get outside of 3 std devs if you keep up this pace for another decade.

    (1 std dev each way from the mean captures 68% of a data set, 2 std devs captures 95%, 3 std devs captures 99.6%)

    ((also, iirc, these numbers are for USAmericans, they could potentially and probably do differ somewhat by geographic location, different cultural norms, etc))

    (((also also, these numbers are just for people generally, not specific to any sex or gender or sexual orientation)))


    Segueing from that; yes, of course, myself and the nymphomaniac ended up being FWB for a while, where I can give you this uh, specific data point:

    We once set aside a literal entire day for sex, and we fucked for at least 8 hours straight. Literally sun up to sun down.

    We had planned to try to keep track of, but eventually both lost count of how many times we came, and literally had to take the entire following day off to physically recover, as if we'd just done an all day bar crawl and were horrendously hungover.

    So, hah, you had any sessions go over 8 hours?

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    I am 99.9% confident that I am not a nymphomaniac. I kinda just act on my desires rather than suppressing them. From what I understand I should be in a far worse mental state rn, if I was a nymphomaniac. (No sex since a few weeks) Maybe there's a spectrum to being a nymphomaniac? If so I'm probably there somewhere.

    W.r.t to not being able to focus if I didn't have sex, I do have that but it's not too common. The "hunger" dies down naturally when it's not a good thing.

    Tbh the numbers are fascinating but I have to take it with a kilo of salt. I really refuse to trust data that talk about "taboo" aspects. I don't know how or if the numbers are skewed but I just can't trust them. That being said, I am obviously an outlier so ig that won't change lol.

    Also I doubt if I'll "keep the pace". I don't think I'm getting any more attractive and I'm already seeing signs of lower energy. So i really doubt if I'll be able to (or even want to) "keep the pace". Also there's the COVID effect. Lockdowns and stuff really made me overcompensate lol.

    I don't think I've ever fucked for 8 full hours. I've fucked over a longer period but never only sex or for as long (maybe most at a go 3 hrs?). 8 hours is really really impressive!

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago* (1 child)

    Yeah, I am not a psychologist or anything, but I am glad that you didn't take the question as an insult, it came from a place of genuine, potential concern, but it sounds like you've got a decent grasp on yourself as a person, so that's good!

    Yeah, I think I would agree that there is probably a spectrum to nymphomania, and you don't seem to place nearly as highly on it as the woman I knew.


    I also totally understand your apprehension to just take the data at face value.

    Those numbers come from uh... I think it was a fairly large sex toy company that hired an actual sexologist to conduct the study, ie, they have formal training in both psychology and statistics and polling related concepts like how to design surveys with as unbiased questions as possible.

    IIRC, I went with that study months ago because it was fairly recent, and actually had a larger sample size than the other academically published studies I'd seen from within the last 5ish years.

    That being said, the other recent studies I've seen, with regard to lifetime sex partners... they are all generally within this same ballpark, such that 100+ partners is always going to significantly be an outlier.


    The other thing, at least in the US but it is present in other places as well:

    There is just generally a rise of incels and femcels, people who have never had sex, or have had no sex within the last year.

    The average a person loses their virginity at is also going up, for all sexes/genders.

    So... yeah, part of why its so statistically unusual to have 100+ partners is that increasing numbers of people... just never fuck.

    The extreme in the opposite direction, basically.


    Random, but: is 'ig' short for I Guess?

    IIRC is If I Recall Correctly.

    I realize I am about a decade older than you ... I am no longer 'with it' when it comes to modern abbreviations and lingo and such, lol.


    As to 'keeping the pace': all good all good lol, I wasn't trying to comment on you personally with that, was just trying to do some mathematical extraploation as a theoretical example, to try and explain standard deviations and such a bit better.


    As to max encounter duration:

    Well hey, 3 hrs is definitely quite an enoyable time, but also thank you, and obviously yes I am bragging just a bit, lol.

    I'm a different kind of statistical outlier!

    Yay!

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    I don't doubt reality is too far from the numbers to be honest, but I'm not going to trust it too much yk?

    Yes incel/femcel stuff is on the rise but tbh I haven't noticed that too much in my peers. I have seen it significantly more in my juniors, tho that could be a result of my company and stuff.

    "Keeping with the pace", i didn't take it personally btw do don't worry about that. I completed missed the fact that it could be you extrapolating!

    8hrs: Outlier 🤝 Outlier

    PS: someone else commented here saying that they have a 200+ body count and are like 30s male. I'm sure you'll be interested lol.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (2 children)

    I have seldom seen anyone answer a text wall, you made things too difficult.

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Well I'm an outlier after all.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (1 child)

    is there something in common the guys that made you cum quick share? i hope it’s not just dick size lol

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

    No lol it's not big dick = quick cum. Some guys can move very well and stimulate spots very differently. Also they ask what I liked and changed based on that.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago* (1 child)

    I really wish a lot more of both guys and gals knew this, that just communicating during sex, telling people directly what you like and what you don't, where to touch, when, and how, instead of just grunting or whimpering the whole time, is really, really important.

    So many people just... try to do what they see in a porno, or just... are too embarassed to speak, or just don't listen.

    Also, for guys: Almost all women literally need foreplay to actually, highly enjoy sex.

    Start slow, tease her a bit at first, be a bit coy, don't just go straight to jackhammering, she's got a whole body of erogenous zones, maybe familiarize yourself with some of them first, ask her about them.

    Also also: This does vary, size queens are real and do exist, but... most? many? women will actually experience signifigant pain from gigantocock.

    Vaginas do expand when aroused, but if you're literally punching her kidneys with an over 8 or 9 inch cock, generally speaking, thats actually quite painful, and most women do not like that as much as something a bit smaller.

    I guess hell, priya, would you say you have an ideal partner length/girth?

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Yes! Just talk lol.

    Also guys please moan. Don't be quiet. Even the grunts are good, let me hear it!

    Tbh I like big dicks because sex a lot of positions are easier to do (like full nelson). Doggy + big dick is going to be painful but sometimes in a good way.

    I really don't have an ideal size. As long as it's not below 4" I'm good.

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    That's true that there are a number of positions that just don't work as well if you aren't packing a bit more than average, or I guess maybe exceptionally flexible.

    Adding in that you like guys not being mute is also a good point!

    Just for clarity, when you say big dick in doggy pose can approach your personal pain vs pleasure threshold, where would you draw the line at what 'big dick' size is, for doggy, and/or maybe other positions where its been a bit painful?

    Also, given that... 100 dicks is a pretty large sample size for one person, what would you say is about the average size that you've uh... ahem, encountered?

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Well what "big" dick is kinda depends.

    If the girth is very high it'll be painful no matter what. (I haven't ran into this but I've heard).

    Length really really depends on how rough it is. Doggy rough with 6" will be a bit bad painful. A sensual slow doggy with 8" isn't likely to be as painful. Same kinda applies for any deep position. Being rough really adds the pain.

    Average: Probably near 5.7"? Tbf I don't sleep with anyone less than 4" so maybe that skewed it. The number is pulled out of my ass tho tbf ;)

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  • [–] 3 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    Well what "big" dick is kinda depends.

    I appeciate the more specific explanation of how 6 vs 8 feels when you take position and roughness and speed into account...

    ... but if you're talking with your friends, casually, and they ask you 'was it big?', there's your casual, quick response scenario, what roughly would your length be for that?

    a rough minimum length that takes it out of average/common/normal territory?

    You've already covered how there is so much more to sex than just cock size, but a whole, whole lot of guys really just want a straight answer to that kind of a question, just so they know where they stand.

    Whole lot of male insecurity going on, like I know all the stats (more on that below), but perception and stats don't always line up, and a lot of women also are not as forthcoming as you are, or, just like guys can be deluded by porn standards, so can a lot of women be deluded by porn standards.


    Beyond that: I legit would not have expected you say rough doggy or another deep position with 6 can be painful, I would have imagined it would take a bit more than that.

    Though, I have read that the average, aroused vagina is roughly 5 1/2 inches in depth, so I guess that makes sense, but there are few studies on that and they all have huge error margins.

    Totally makes sense that taking it slow makes it much less painful, more enjoyable, even with larger lengths.

    Also makes sense that girth is probably more of a factor than length, when it comes to pain, just more volume, more expansion, more potential for friction or even tearing per the same length.


    Ok so, as to average length being about 5.7"... that is actually uh, bang on the money for all the comprehensive meta studies on this I've read.

    Yeah, a lot of studies exist on that, and yep, 5 and 3/4 inches is basically the average over the whole globe.

    So, ... basically, you have uh, experienced what us stats nerds call a representative sample, not heavily biased or skewed in some way.


    Also:

    Tbf I don't sleep with anyone less than 4" so maybe that skewed it. The number is pulled out of my ass tho tbf ;)

    Well, I guess its pulled not less than 4 inches out of your ass.

    Sorry, you walked right into that one, haha!

    But uh no, you probably didn't skew it that much with that rule, I think any fully erect dick under 3.5" is just actually considered a micropeen, and those are... basically as rare as somebody over 7 or 8 inches.

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    If it's above 6" and not thin then yes, I'll say it was big. Girth as well, beyond a certain radius? Circumference? I'll describe it as thick.

    The reason rough is painful is cus it's hitting things with momentum too. Not only because of where it's hitting. PS taking 6" rough is not a normal thing. Lot of girls can't do that. (Neither can I for too long)

    5.7: Well, the science backs me?😭😂

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (1 child)

    What was the average and best girth?

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