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FDA warns public not to eat possibly radioactive shrimp sold at Walmart (abcnews.go.com)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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[–] 4 points 1 year ago* (8 children)

especially if it's this supershrimp, you know, the one with 18 eyes ? strikes its claws at 20% the speed of light ? creating a vacuum fronted by a blinding plasma bubble, turning everything in its vicinity into shrimp-flavoured ash ?? ring a bell ??

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

    Fuck that, go Pistol shrimp. It can clap it's claw so hard it sending out a blinding jet of plasma, and a directed shockwave which can stun nearby fish. Pistol shrimp make enough noise that nuclear submarines use them to hide from passive sonar.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 year ago (3 children)

    holy shit, it's my new favourite

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  • [–] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    But wait, there's more!

    You've seen the Peacock Mantish shrimp with his rock em sock em bopper of doom, but are you ready for Spear Mantis Shrimp, which have a motherfucking HARPOON instead of bashers?!

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