I can't ever imagine going back to wiping my ass with toilet paper, at least in situations where I have a bidet available. Why is everything about western culture literally the fucking worst
Despite the knowledge I have of the superior shitting experience, it is apparent I have failed to do the praxis and I do deeply apologize. 
I pledge to dedicate my life to making sure every single public toilet has a bidet, thereby making bidets accessible for all in the western world--yes, even for the chuds who can no longer poop properly from their carnivore diets.