Like it's only so long until a user there posts a dumbass "Kick Tankies out of Lemmy" meme to try and start shit to get us defedded and hexbears take the bait immediately and pile on to tell them what a dumbass they are.
Like as dumb as the "death to NATO" being compared to "death to the people of NATO" stuff was, blahaj and hexbear are the largest queer instances and I quite like taking part in it and their trans communities, idk it's kinda nice to interact with people who don't have the same kind of hexbear brainrot where I see the words "pumpkin spice", "Maoist cult", "Soyfacing PMC radlib" or "rock stacking" and immediately start to go :sus: mentally, it feels refreshing to be able to talk to an incredibly queer positive community that doesn't have the same kind of internet poisoning as all of us. And it seems kind of assholy that some of the users here just don't give a shit and want to post and dunk until we get defedded by every instance, this isn't like lemmy.ca where they were all dicks that none of us liked anyway and were complaining about us doing hate speech against fucking landlords or lemm.ee where almost every time time a user from there pops their head into our threads here they say something racist or transphobic. iirc blahaj.zone was actually the second most requested instance to federate with in the pre federation discussions due to how good of a queer space it was.
Like their first defed thread was a complete embarrassment because there were a load of users there that actually had positive opinions towards us and then they saw the shitshow happening once from the post reaching active and changed to be way against us which tbh, fair enough.
Edit:
statements from the head mod Ada:
WHAT IF THERE WERE A MYSTERIOUS "THIRD WAY"?
But for serious, I get the feeling that someone might need to make an instance for people who want to post on both. It could even be queer themed. I just don't see hexbear being able to rein it in enough to avoid the inevitable, and personally I like the dirtbag culture as it is.
Many of these "I don't want to get defederated" posts are essentially asking for a complete 180 on the site culture; Stop posting so much. Stop responding to posts. Stop bullying liberals. Stop using emojis. Stop dismissing bad faith arguments and outright lies with PPB.
That's not what Hexbear is. I like your solution of a bridge instance, but beyond that the solution is likely that people who want to view anti-Leftist, anti-Communist instances need to make separate accounts on those instances.
Edit: I read Ada's (from Blahaj) posts and I have to temper my statement - I do see the value in maintaining ties with another major trans instance and making some adjustments to make that possible is a worthy thing to do. Please check out the statements, they've been added to the original post.
Hard agree
I like Ada's statement but wonder why it didn't apply for Lemmygrad too. They defederated from us for kicks.
Hopefully it won't come to that but if it does it had better be called lib.rehab, either that or citationsneeded.chat
Idgi if users want to interact with a non federated instance, just create an alt there?
Jerboa makes it super easy to switch between accounts too