My dad has recently been caught having an affair with his young personal assistant. Huge scandal; mom was very angry. Now they’re in the middle of divorce proceedings. Mom moved out, the other woman moved in and I chose to stay with him because we’re super close; he’s like my best friend. Now mom’s telling me to go and live with her and go no contact with him cause he’s a bad person and by continuing having a relationship with him I’m condoning his actions and “ignoring her suffering”. My relationship with my dad hasn’t changed, I don’t see why I should end it.
She hated my feminine behaviour/preferences growing up and still does and used to berate me for that. She didn’t support me when I came out as gay.
So she never accepted you as you are and didn't support you when you needed her most? Your dad's no saint, but if I were in your position, I'd sooner end contact with my mother than my father.