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When you vet someone for whether you can be close friends with them, what's a seemingly unimpactful characteristic about someone that would instantly rule them out as a potential close friend for you? (lemm.ee)
submitted 3 years ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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[โ€“] 7 points 3 years ago (9 children)

How they treat people who disagree with them politically. If they immediately hate/cut off people for political disagreements, we're not going to be friends any deeper than surface level.

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  • [โ€“] 7 points 3 years ago* (4 children)

    What if they hate/cut off fascists though?

    I know a lot of people who are close friends with BJP fans and I always thought that was fucking weird

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  • [โ€“] 1 point 3 years ago* (2 children)

    It depends on who you view as facist. If you think anyone conservative is facist, we're not going to be close friends. I'm not a conservative, but I am rational, so I understand the idea that all conservatives are facist is an extreme view, and actually a pretty facist way of thinking in itself.

    I'm not sure who BJP is, do you mean Jordan Peterson (JBP, I think are his initials)? If so, we don't agree on what a facist is, and yeah, if you're someone who views people through such an extreme lense, we're just not a good friend match.

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  • [โ€“] 5 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    Depends on the disagreement... if the topic under discussion is as inflammatory as abortion or trans rights, I'm sure you can understand why some folks can't agree to disagree.

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  • [โ€“] 1 point 3 years ago

    Not agreeing to disagree isn't the same as cutting someone off from your life, even for those issues. There are multiple issues within those issues that are extreme. For example, I'm pro-choice, but the cutoff for me is probably around the 24 week mark. Pushing for more than that, to me, is extreme, unless we're talking outlier situations, which would go on a case-by-case basis.

    Based on that, many people who are extreme in their belief would certainly cut me out of their life for not supporting late-term abortion.

    This all-or-nothing approach is just irrational. It's not a good match friendship-wise.

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