Do you have pointers to help me understand what makes you prefer Marxism? I know there's been a bunch of discourse on it already, and this probably isn't the spot where we resolve it, but I'm relatively new to leftism and am interested in learning more.
Short(ish) version I have for preferring anarchism to Marxism:
My ultimate end goal is that everyone ascend Maslow's hierarchy of needs and self actualize.
Self actualization requires freedom, agency, and control over things you care about. Pursuing self actualization is hard, though, and human brains want to be lazy.
I'm anti-capitalist, but a positive of (small-scale) capitalism is that it incentivizes individuals to think, "What should exist, but doesn't? What can I do that others would like?" and then actually go do it. Our aim should be to encourage those types of actions, but with an incentive structure that doesn't result in... this.
My concern is that a centralized state will result in folks voluntarily giving up their agency over stuff administered by the state, since it's easier than feeling ownership of it. Over time, I worry this would would atrophy individuals' agency and result in a kind of bystander effect, where folks look for the state to do things for them.