this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Every time I’ve tried to use a bidet, I’ve hated it. The water feels uncomfortable and sudden, and then I feel like I either can’t get dry with toilet paper and get chapped later, or it breaks up from the water and leaves pieces everywhere. The air dry varieties seem to contribute to chapped butt too. I know some people use wash cloths, but frankly the idea of leaving butthole cloth out in the bathroom weirds me out also.

What is the secret to enjoying these things? Am I just too damn American for them?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I use a bidet at home, I always do a few wipes first to avoid the breakup. Then I pat down with tp after to dry.

I get that some people want to save tp, but I just want to feel clean after I drop a bomb.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Saving TP is a minor benefit. More important is never getting monkey butt, never embarrassed because your significant-other/FWB/date sees skid marks in your underwear, and no irritation from excessive wiping if you have sticky poop.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's still saving a significant amount of TP even with the double wipe. Before I got a bidet I was wiping upwards of 5-10 times after some shits.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

But what about the chapped butt? For real, the three times I’ve gotten to use one for more than a week (fancy ones in hotels), I end up feeling like a baby with diaper rash. I’d use triple the TP gladly just to avoid that feeling. I’m not someone who has that happen to them normally either, so it was definitely the bidets.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's odd that you're getting that. Are you sure you're actually using a bidet and not your garden hose?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Fancy Japanese bidet at a Hawaii resort, heated seats, temperature control, three speed blow dry, aiming modes—the works. It was horrible.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Tbh I love a bidet because when your poop is not totally solid, no matter how much you wipe with tp your butt never gets fully clean and it feels horrible and it burns. If I don't have a bidet I usually get in the shower to clean. Then just dry with a towel or TP. Ever since I started using it it's difficult to poop in a public place

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I know you’re meaning that it’s so good you’ll never go back, but I’m hearing that you’ve handicapped yourself for public restrooms, lol.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

You're not wrong lol if I poop in a public restroom and am not able to clean well I feel uncomfortable (burning/itchy/irritated) until I can go home lol

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Your body will quickly get used to using a bidet. It's like shaving - the first time you shave your skin is dried out, but your body quickly adapts. If chapping is a problem, a dab of hand lotion or some lip balm solves it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Smoked a dab, butt still wet, instructions unclear.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The key is to use a hose and not a fixed one. The fixed ones don't really allow you to clean where you'd like whereas the hose ones let you aim wherever. At least that's how it's been in my experience.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You have to do the bidet dance with a fixed one, works just as well.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

But then what is the drying strategy? That is my biggest problem.