My man I feel for you there so much it hurts.

Interviews in jobs suitable to my intelligence level:

"Wow that's quite some knowledge! But have you been doing only this and nothing else for 15 years with certified evidence of steady infinite progression with no stopping?"

Interviews for jobs I might have a shot at:

"So on your availability here I notice you said Monday through Friday but can I pull you for holidays and weekends on short notice anyway? We work hard and play hard like a family here heh heh...So what is your definition of 'solid gold standard servitude in worship of The Customer?'"