If you think that by "toxicity" I am referring to moderators protecting their communities, you are sorely mistaken. That's a feature, not a bug.

I got accused of being transphobic and banned from an instance because I said that hate towards trans people is a dead cat argument.

Good, you showed up in a trans-inclusive space and used right-wing jargon (coined by Boris fucking Johnson) that dismisses their testimony on their own lived experiences as being "shocking" and a "distraction", when they know full well that their rights and their lives are on the line. Sorry you didn't get a chance to correct the record on the fact that you were ignorant on the severity of the issue, but if you're still publicly complaining about being banned on other uninvolved instances, I'd say that they made the right move.