i just feel like she'll hate me upon first sight
Do not trust the self-doubt. The self-doubt lies to you to get your attention. Do not listen to the self-doubt.
and then also what if she ghosts me or stands me up like in the films. what then? add it to the list of failures and try to rebuild my self image?
Then life continues. The "what if"s aren't worth your time. Making an attempt is never a failure. You might not get the outcome that you hope for, but that is not a failure and it does not make you a failure.
OP you sound a bit like you're spiraling in anxiety. If you have someone in your life that you can talk to that helps you get calm and centered, please do that.
Don't go to this date thinking it might be your only chance for romance or whatever. That's too much pressure on you, and on her.
Go to the date with the mindset of meeting a new friend and getting to know them. Go to meet the other person, as they are, in that moment, and be in the moment with them.