this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 221 points 3 months ago (3 children)
  1. Meet woman, don't be weird.

  2. Gradually build a loving, trusting relationship.

  3. She has to get surgery and she'll be bed-bound while she recovers.

  4. "Will you take care of me, Anon?"

  5. Lord of the Rings marathon. The director's cuts. She can't run.

[–] [email protected] 91 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The long setup. "Babe, you agreed to stay in sickness and in health. This is my sickness."

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Narrator: But she didn't stay.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago (1 children)

She died during the Battle of Helm's Deep

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

But inside she was already dead

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago

Just do old school style and read her the Silmarillion.

Make sure to get the annotated version.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Return of the King was the first and only movie I've seen that had an intermission. Keep in mind this was only the theatrical version!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Then go see 2001 A Space Odyssey. Wait until the IMAX release comes around.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That movie is like taking 500 quaaluds

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

But what an intermission!