I did not expect this this post of mine to attract as many people minimising SA as it did. Bit of a downer, yeah.
Going purely by DV statistics and rape culture, yeah I pick the bear too.
It's agonising to know that I can scare women just by existing in an area/place they don't expect. And that's not their fault, they're just protecting themselves. It's our society that has made it this way.