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Daily discussion thread: 🌢️ Friday, April 26, 2024 (aussie.zone)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/melbourne@aussie.zone
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[–] 7 points 2 years ago* (13 children)

I need some advice because I lack the most basic of social awareness:

I've been texting someone, only a couple of times so far, but I have just realised I've spelled their name wrong the two times I've used it (has a j instead of a y. The y-version is the one I've always seen so I guess I skipped over it). I feel bad and I know it makes me feel awkward if someone gets my name wrong. I want to apologise but then I feel like if I bring it up, I'm bringing attention to something they maybe not noticed?

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago (3 children)

    My weird name gets spelled wrong a lot, just say sorry you were using the wrong spelling, you're not the first to get it wrong, you'll be one of a few that say something. I no longer correct people who fuck my name up, some people have been getting it wrong for years.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

    @dumblederp @danwritesbooks @melbourne As you can probably tell from my username, I have an uncommon ethnic name, and I get this all the time.

    Yes, they have noticed the typo.

    Most likely, they haven't said anything because they don't want to cause a scene. But it is annoying.

    First, acknowledge your mistake and apologise in a discrete way that's not in front of other people.

    Perhaps that's an email? Or a Teams message? If you do it in-person, make it a one-on-one conversation.

    Keep it simple.

    Hi, I need to apologise to you about something. I've looked through some of my past messages, and I've noticed I've misspelt your name a number of times. It was a careless mistake on my part, and one you're probably quite rightly annoyed about. I'm genuinely really sorry and honestly a little embarrassed about this, I'll make sure to get it right from now on. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to make it up to you?

    The really important thing is to not make the same mistake after the apology.

    Perhaps copy and paste their name from another document instead of trying to spell it out from now on?

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  • [–] 1 point 2 years ago (1 child)

    I will do that. Thanks for your input. I am certainly conscious of it now so will be making sure I get it right.

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago

    Lots of people will have gotten it wrong an made not attempt to correct their behaviour. It only needs to be a quick incidental apology. Even when you next address them in text "Hey Jagemeet (sorry for getting it wrong before), Can we talk about the project this afternoon? Thx Dan"

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    They certainly noticed you spelling their name wrong, but it sounds like a common error. I'm sure they get it a lot and don't care. I'd bring it up light heartedly, like: "oops I just noticed I was spelling your name wrong, sorry! Do you get that a lot?"

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago*

    I think it's a decent measure of how uptight someone is. Chicks named Sonja/Sonya get it a lot and if they're reasonably unfussed about it they're generally pretty chilled out sort of people and easy to spend time with. I know a Karl that gets Carl all the time and isn't fussed unless it's something official. Then again, I grew up in an era of Kathy/Kathie, Katy/Katie and Kelly/Kellie.

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