I would love if my coworkers were more blunt and honest.
"Where the fuck is my spreadsheet" is very concise. It tells me what you want, it tells me what my responsibility is, and it probably tells me the level of priority the issue is for you. "where’s my spreadsheet motherfucker" is similar but, depending on our relationship, I'd take that either far more seriously or more jokingly.
I have one guy I work with who speaks like this. He had to explain himself at first then I was like, yes please continue talking to me like a human. I'm more likely to trust people who don't hide behind pleasantries and are just themselves with me.