in a few weeks i will be increasing my hours to full time. it was my choice because i wanted to work in a different area and there will be an additional benfit too. i am just worried that i wont be able to keep up with life.

i have been working part time for the past 3 years, and the past year ive been in the same area. however i have been getting so understimulated since there is no one else around and its been hard to stay motivated. i think it has been making me feel stressed? this new section i will be moving too will definitely have a lot more background stimulation and i am honestly excited about the change. its also brand new, just constructed, so that is also exciting.

i am nearly working full time hours anyway, so i know it realistically won't be that much of a difference. but i am scared that the hours will make me feel more mentally drained. ADD already makes life so difficult and tiring.

idk this makes me feel so silly 😭

i have been medically transitioning for over 6 years and i have mostly just been living my life. a lot of the initial joys that came with living as a woman, especially socially, have mostly felt 'normal' for some time. and that is good!

however, i have been thinking about that recently and it is so comforting to actually realise this. i started my current job as myself, and everyone sees me as a woman. my work friends, most of whom are women, have never shown any doubt about it. i'm just Emma. and thats amazing!

i haven't told anyone that i am trans, and i wouldn't say that i "pass", my voice definitely doesn't (im working on that. 😭) i have to wear a uniform and its a unisex design, so nothing feminine about it. i do get misgendered by staff from other departments at times, but not from anyone i interact with regularly. some coworkers have even had conversations with me and said things that would imply i'm cis!

i guess what i'm saying is that it is amazing how much you can influence how people see you just by being you. i'm still working on my self confidence, but i never thought i would be in this position. like at all. its such a wonderful feeling knowing that i really am just a woman.

anyways, i felt happy thinking about this and thought i'd share some positivity <3