I don’t trust it. Certainly, there is some fuckery going on.

Holy shit, this really seems like something that you shouldn’t announce publicly

Fixing all of your problems by replacing them with new and much worse ones

I do!

I don’t, and point taken

Sounds like a setup for a Netflix murder mystery miniseries

Yes, that’s what you’re supposed to do with secrets: Hide them.

HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE GREAT FAMILY RESTAURANT THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY JUST THINK OF ALL THE BIRTHDAY PARTIES

Those are all really sharp

The job of the police is not to provide medical assistance, it is to put him in jail, which will make his situation infinitely worse.

And how the hell do you know that he’s intoxicated? He could be mentally ill or have a head injury or it could be for one of a dozen other reasons. It’s pretty arrogant and bigoted to assume that he’s intoxicated.

My advice is to mind your own goddamn business. But if you just can’t help yourselves, maybe do the person a favor and actually call an ambulance if your intention is to actually help them rather than make their situation worse.

It’s always the ones you most suspect

Admit it: you had fun with that