I can soo see this happening to someone 😂

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[–] 20 points 4 hours ago

Realistically, a packet of ramen seasoning is approximately as helpful of birth control as a condom that has been in a wallet for nine years.

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  • [–] 13 points 4 hours ago

    Meanwhile someone somewhere is having the grossest ramen ever.

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  • [–] 19 points 5 hours ago

    Unlike latex, chicken bullion can last 9years though

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  • [–] 2 points 2 hours ago

    Literally done this with a single use glasses cleaning cloth.

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  • [–] 65 points 9 hours ago* (1 child)

    Prob don't use a 9 year old condom anyway. Without spermicides the latex will deteriorate after about 5 years. With spermicide solutions it will happen around 3 years. Being in a warm and often agitated wallet, this will probably happen sooner.

    You'll end up with probably a gross funky dick rash and a gross funky baby.

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  • [–] 19 points 8 hours ago*

    Yeah, if you buy a pack of condoms, store them in a dry and cool place. You can take one out and put it in the purse, but replace it after at least half a year from the safely stored stash to prevent gross funky babies and gross funky STDs.

    Edit: This goes doubly when you are in the US. The amount of multiresistant STDs in the US currently is mindblowingly high, don't fuck around with that. And if you are in Russia, you are in HIV central anyways.

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  • [–] 55 points 9 hours ago (8 children)

    "sooo... Would you mind if we just did oral? Do you like chicken by the way?"

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  • [–] [S] 25 points 9 hours ago (7 children)

    😂😂😂
    Hands down, best reply in that situation

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  • [–] 13 points 7 hours ago (6 children)

    Might make my asexual ass consider it honestly. I can take or leave the dick but you got SEASONING?? I'm in.

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  • [–] [S] 8 points 7 hours ago (5 children)

    This made me laugh way too hard 😂
    I'll have the dick...if you don't have a need for it 👉👈

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  • [–] 7 points 7 hours ago* (4 children)

    Sure, who needs a hose to piss? chops my own dick off and hands it to you This is what you wanted, right?

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  • [–] [S] 7 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

    Hey, umm...I know you didn't mean it like that but that's dangerously close to a very touchy subject for me.

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  • [–] 5 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

    Oh shit- I'm sorry. Should I delete the comment?

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  • [–] 17 points 8 hours ago (1 child)

    I always kept a bag of tea when I carried that kind of wallet. Just in case I needed a lil midday caffeine. One of my 'friends' at the time briefly stole my wallet and came back like OMG you have a–!–wait.

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  • [+] -15 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

    I know this is a meme, but there is something called pulling out. It seems not many know what the hell that is, and it blows my mind.

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  • [–] [S] 35 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

    Yes and it's literally the least reliable contraceptive method. Please don't even joke about recommending it to people trying to prevent pregnancy.

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