Good thing the truck doesn't have GPS tracking, or something.

Easy enough to find. Just look for the blocker car.

Suspects have been identified

This could be the plot for an amazing B movie

Why is the beer measured in weight?

I’m white trash, and I’m in trouble!

I mean of the domestic pilsners, it’s decent.

If you’re into that kinda thing

you have exactly 18 days and 44 minutes to return our truck,

Why this amount? Also no.

Thief: "can't really drive right now. Sorry, not sorry"

Were Pabst moving beer for someone else? If it was their own stuff, surely the headline should be "40,000 pounds of piss water inside" instead.