lots of things clicked into place after reading Unmasking Autism, and I do try since

I've stopped caring quite so much and just fucking exist now.

I'm still scared but now I'm more physically comfortable.

I wish. I tend to have trouble thinking and saying what's on my mind. Probably due to years of suppressing all of my emotions and trying to avoid any trouble.

If there was an easy way to know myself again and just be, I'd happily do it.

It took me over a decade to fully internalise that I often don't actually care about the opinion of people who don't like me. I would much rather have a small group of people who see me as I am.

I still throw on the mask at times. But it's now out of convenience, rather than fear.

It's also worth noting something. We generally aren't very good at hiding our weirdness. NTs tend to pick up on that. It comes across as "creepy". If, instead, you let it show more, it doesn't trigger that response. Some people will still be judgemental as hell, but that can't be helped either way. It's akin to the uncanny valley effect.

Basically, let your weirdness show. Just be ready to talk about it with confidence.

Only recently. Im trying to "unmask" around people but it can be difficult

"Find out who you are, and do it on purpose".

I mean to finally take Dolly's advice.