Normally, I'd keep with tradition regarding fake/gay

But this is a serious issue regardless of the story being true or not. Men get raped. Amd they get dismissed when they seek not only justice, but trauma assistance. It's bullshit, and needs to stop.

Oh, a mistake: that's not your family, those are just bad people you lived with.

Calling those people family is disingenuous

I would too, 4 years is already crazy short.

in what universe is this a shitpost?

Id be like I won't challenge the parole if you explain why there was drugs in my system and the guilty verdict at the trial convincingly.

I like putting really easy obstacles in the way of what someone wants and seeing their reaction.

Fuck my family

Sounds like his family already fucked him. Or, at least, soon to be family already did.