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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Faerie-Footman-442 on 2026-08-16 20:11:01+00:00.
My friend recently got married, and he and his new wife are obsessed with doing dinner parties. It's so cute because they haven't gotten sick of the idea yet, and so I always attend happily.
They have two small dogs: Bunny and Malloy. Malloy is very tender-hearted and shy, while Bunny is the most hell-stricken dog I've ever met in life. Bunny is the effing boss, and poor Malloy knows it all too well...
Unfortunately, Bunny hates me. She decided this the first day she met me. Even though I always say hi and smile at her, there is just something about me that Bunny finds absolutely intolerable. She is cool with the other guests, but she snarls at me.
At the last dinner party, Bunny was being a real bully to Malloy. Malloy was playing with a yellow, rubber gardening glove, and Bunny freaked the eff out when she saw it. My friend told me that there had been dog drama regarding the glove for about a week now. The climax of the evening happened when my friend's wife made a grand display of "punishing" Bunny by throwing the glove away.
Later, when I went into the kitchen to mix a drink, I covertly retrieved the glove from the trash and stuffed it in my pocket. I had a plan...
I put the glove in my car, and for about a month I dreamed of my friends' next dinner party. I dreamed of returning unto Bunny her long-lost glove, and seeing joy explode upon her face. I dreamed of Bunny hopping into my lap and looking up at me with love in her eyes...
My friend and his wife had another dinner party last night, and I brought the glove. The second I walked into the house, I rushed over to Bunny (who was on the couch), I got down on my knees, and I presented her with the glove.
Bunny seemed perturbed by the fact that I would even deign to acknowledge her. But she magnanimously sniffed at the glove anyway. I witnessed recognition dawn on her stupid little dog face...
And then Bunny effing exploded. It seems that the realization that I been in possession of her lost glove was an intolerable prospect to her. The only choice for Bunny was to go blind with wild rage.
Everyone at the dinner party stood around awkwardly while my friend and his wife kept the twisting, snarling Bunny at bay with a couple of brooms. Eventually my friend managed to lock Bunny into their bedroom.
Everyone pretended to have fun for a little while, but we were all keenly aware of the harrowing dog-screams that were coming from the other room, and the pounding as Bunny threw herself repeatedly into the door.
I left after about 30 minutes of this.
Tl;dr: I thought a long-lost glove would make a judgmental dog love me, but it had the opposite effect.