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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/RegaultTheBrave on 2026-08-14 01:25:53+00:00.
So, to put things simply, I have never been someone who automatically picks things up. I kinda just "discover" as I go, things that most people have been doing for years, and that my parents never really told me about.
Sometimes its an innocent thing I am technically doing better than the norm, like how my family has always just used towels ONCE rather than reusing a towel for a week. I genuinely never understood what a towel rack was even for until I was 26 years of age.
One I discovered very recently that I definitely was behind curve on, was *cleaning under toenails* when I clip them. I just noticed a little flap looking thing under my toenail while routinely cleaning and trimming, thought it was weird, and then I realized "holy shit, theres an entire buildup of gunk under here". No smell, no nothing, just a weird gunk. I assume it was a buildup of keratin from the nail repeatedly being lightly chipped off due to impacts over the years.
Well anyways, there was a part of me that was like "well damn, maybe if its all here, I should just leave it, its not hurting me". Not listening to that was the start of my fuckup.
In what would have been a banger of an episode of Oddly Satisfying, over the course of about an hour at 2AM, I used one of those spoon looking picks used to dig out crab meat, to dig out all of this keratin gunk from my two big toes. It wasn't a crazy quantity, but it was a very notable amount that should definitely have not been there, and it looked kinda nasty. After removing it all, my toes felt kinda numb in the region, but also weirdly free and light. This was the moment I started to realize what I had done.
Now, two weeks later, applying LIGHT pressure to either of my toes in the area where that keratin buildup was, causes a LOT of pain. A gentle tap on the doorframe is agonizing, running hurts because of the impact, and *putting my shoe on too fast* when I am late for work is torment from Satan himself. Like I swear a gentle breeze is nearly enough to cause me pain in my toes. I have no clue how much I will continue suffering with this, but it brings me no pleasure to admit that it was all my own doing.
Moral of the story, dont be like me. Clean under your toenails NOW so you dont remove it all at once after living your whole life with it. Also, apologies if I grossed anyone out, I tried to keep it as non-graphic as possible while being accurate.
TL;DR, I cleaned under my toenails and removed a lot of keratin buildup after literally never doing it in my life (27 years), and the aftermath has been brutally painful.
Edit: Massive thanks to user r/wavydaby for letting me know that what I tore out on both toes is the hyponychium, a fucking beneficial thing for feet that most people have.
This just makes it even more of a fuckup LOL.
Also yall, you can stop being rude to me about "not bathing" and shit, like what the hell is this? I literally mentioned in my post that I was in the process of routine clipping of my toenails yet people are saying I am not??? Wtf???
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