"The best code is no code" I say to myself before I take the fifth toilet break of my workday

we had a (creative) writing workshop once where they said "write the worst possible dialogue you can!" with the idea that then we would read them back, and it'd be stuff like "I love you! I'd die for you!" "But you killed for me - that's horrible!" etc and they'd point out it wasn't actually that bad with a few tweaks and a good performance.

I kinda saw that coming so I wrote stuff like,

"Zbijgl, my old fart, my favmamort n n n n number is 183442356742255214676213566873225566333543"

"But my cat food is singing, it goes anganganganganganganganganganga"

and they were forced to concede that yes, it is possible to write truly bad dialogue.

my second worst script so far is probably the one i had to slow down in an attempt to not crash a hospital.

Wdym its the best script. No dependencies, zero maintenance cost, extremely small attack surface.

Oh, come on. They can't ALL be the worst code I've ever written!

I think we would flip it around, like:

Oh no, the BEST code ever written is the stuff that's never written.

Well, maybe that's second best only to deleting code. Why stop at zero when your amount written can go negative?

Eh, unless you disqualify the latter because it's actual work making the project or product better. I leave that up to the reader.

Nah I'm in this meme and I don't mind. Some validation is nice

hell yeah brother

Don't like my code? Comments are there, you do better.

Eh, as long as it works and is readable enough

My favorite script is the one I wrote to keep my session from timing out due to inactivity. It pressed a null key once every minute.