“It looks like you’re not using an authorized Oral-B toothbrush head, for your safety your toothbrush has self destructed.”

Man it's not like I want to, but there's a non zero chance that I'll turn into a (more intersectional) ted kacynsky in the futuse

You have to be a special kind of stupid to buy an internet connected toothbrush.

This post is extremely misleading. The app isn't required to use the toothbrush, the app is just for coaching your brushing, and it's advertised as such. You do not need to use the app if you don't want to.

My book ran out of batteries.

"The commies don't want you to even own your own toothbrush!"

Well well well, how the turntables.

I just can't wait to continue my Oral-B brushing experience.

Does this mean... it's a multi-user toothbrush? And if so, exactly how many accounts does a single toothbrush support?

I can't escape this hell 
So many times I've tried 
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody, get me through this nightmare

Does the toothbrush stop working if I log out of the OralB account?

So, I just got an idea, if we keep slowly going, would people be outraged enough by artificial heart subscription (or similar)?

You know, if we just keep moving the bar bit by bit. Artificial bionic eye subscription, nothing life treating at first. Just a bit of outrage pushed down with "But those poor people couldn't afford it otherwise. We actually gave them a chance they couldn't otherwise get.", splitting the crowd into 2 opposing forces until it dies down when something else pops up, and in the meantime, when all the focus will be on elections or whatever, we start introducing pacemaker subscriptions.

Or you know what, no. Prohibitively expensive purchase price and subscription option with the illusion of choice. Outrage? It was their choice.

Statements concocted by the utterly deranged

But unironically

Does it have terms of services and a license to use a tooth brush?

The future is stupid