this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Fun fact, if you could pull out one dollar per second and went nonstop, it would take over 11 days to pull out all one million dollars.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

At 8 hours per day, that's 33 days.

A month at this job and I get paid a million? I'm in.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I was coming in here too describe this math as well lol. Worse still is your speed wouldn't even be that far and you still need to sleep and eat and stuff.

Youd be at this for a couple months at least.

It would be great to cover all your small purchases though.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd totally do a couple of months work for a million dollars.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I tend toward a bit of poetic tension in my group's scenes, so as their GM those dollar bills'd have to be pulled out of a pocket at a constant, challenging rate until they were at the stated number or something unsavory would result. A blockage, or even a reversal of their initial pressure? The pocket swells with unstable magics ready to burst, or the bills begin to force their way into the wearer's pocket-adjacent flesh, etc. Something to keep the party weighing the consequences of getting too wild with the wishes, but ridiculous enough to be worth the challenge.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't think that fits with the spirit of the item, and leans back towards the monkey's paw. What you have to do is make it sillier. If they wish for 100gp, they can take out 1sp from their pockets at a time. If they wish for a million gp, it's a random location each time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Fair point. I may've been conditioned a bit from too many years DMing for oh-so-clever players who consistently think they can finagle a blessing out of a cursed item. 🤪 My reflex is to pressure the retrieval of said coins on an inconvenient schedule (ie. 24/7) and just when they think they've got that figured out, find an amusing way to remind the part-time legends of their place in the grand charade.

For instance, who knows what unscrupulous attention might be drawn to such a spectacle as an everflowing pocket? Might be as simple as a couple of enterprising urchins in need of a quick score, or maybe it's a bit more obtuse in its connection. When the gang is asked to investigate the curious affliction a young noble seems to have contracted on their recent visit to the same town (inn, etc.) involving coins falling out of their mouth whenever they try to speak...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It’s all copper, it’s speeding up, and let’s review the encumbrance rules…

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Your arm would get pretty tired as well lol

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'll just hire two people to pull it out for me.

Work smart.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Are we still doing "phrasing?"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The best way to handle it would be to stand on something on have them fall and pull the rest out with gravity. I think that'd work. Maybe into a bag of holding.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

But the bag of holding would also be cursed. Like maybe it dispenses the money one dollar at a time with a cash register sound at every dollar.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you wished to be a billionaire it's 31 YEARS. At $1 per second. No sleeping, no eating, no bathroom breaks, no nights off. 24/7/365. Realistically you'd die before your wish came true. Billionaires shouldn't exist.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Amen. I was just thinking earlier today that billionaires would be more useful if we barbecued them and fed them to our pets.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

Because this is the clown nose granting this, the bills will be stapled together in one long chain 🙃

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

I want a Ferrari!

Granted! A dozen clowns ride with you wherever you go. You're always the last one out.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The item should also attract geese when used.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"I wish for world peace!" HONK HONK everyone dies

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Lmao goteem

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I wish I could fly!

Jet propelled by farts.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I did a variant of a druid's yoke for a dragon chicken one shot. It was a chicken bib that when touched turned the wearer into a chicken. Scratch attack, 1 dmg. Anyone touching it would turn into a chicken. If you used tongs or a stick to remove it everyone changed back.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Hahahaha this is awesome

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

How many bills would he have to pull a minute to reach a million in 3 hours? 🤔

I'm too high to even figure out how to equate it right now.