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Fellow auties, which do you find is a better and healthier fit for you: dating another autistic person or an NT? (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by to c/autism@lemmy.world
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I'm really confused about this. On one hand (✋), I can see how dating an autistic person would be amazing because we would just understand each other on another level. We would get each other's emotions, meltdowns, joy, special interests, hyperfocus, communication style, etc. Also, there's no NT partner to miss whatever NT thing we don't bring to the relationship.

On the other hand (🤚), we definitely have some deficiencies that NTs don't. Having an NT can help us regulate, keep us updated on social matters that we completely miss, take care of a baby that's wailing crying, and other strengths that we just don't have, while at the same time, we contribute with our own strengths that they don't have.

NTs, please feel free to contribute! Your opinion and experiences are important too 🙂

I'd love to see a discussion on this topic. So what do you think?

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[–] 5 points 2 years ago

I would probably not go back to dating NTs except if very reflected and also an autistic ally. Being with an autistic person can be infuriating at times but the level of „you just understand“ is wayyyy different from anything else. Tbf, I‘m married and we‘re together for almost a decade now so emotional maturity has def changed a lot.

The amount of internalized ableism you have to overcome with anyone who isnt at least hyper aware of autism is no joke though. Maybe possible for a „lifer“ so to speak, so someone who knew of their diagnosis all their life but def not fun for me who is quite late diagnosed and needs to learn to be themselves.

P.S.: of yourse it is you again… ;)

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